Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

What do ghosts use to predict the future?

Horror-scopes!

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What happened after the man borrowed a sad movie from his friend?

He lost it.

What's your favorite pirate joke?

Friend has an eyepatch on for some reason or another and I'm running out of decent jokes.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Why does Brendon Rodgers hate Twitter?

It only allows 140 characters

Why didn't the doctor use Twitter to tell the patient that he had a deadly disease?

Because the condition was untweetable.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What's for dinner Dad?

What's for dinner Dad? Is it any good?

What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?

I'm not letting you cook dinner again

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

What do you call a holy man who works at McDonald's?

A Friar

How many McDonald's counter girls does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to put some chips with it.

Wi Fi Jokes More Wi Fi Jokes

What do you call wifi in space?

Mars Bars

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...