What did the redditor do to a post?

He rEDDITed it. I'll leave.

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What did you like most about your last job?

ME: *leans in way too close* Leaving it.

How did the newfie injure himself raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree

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How did redditor heckle the stand up comic?

The real joke is always in the comments!"

Why is Rob Zombie good for the health of Redditors?

They see his AMA and turn off the computer.

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Why can't humans hear a dog whistle?

Because dogs can't whistle. (X-post from r/dadjokes)

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here