Why did the lights go out?

Because they liked each other.

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Why do the police hate teenage fireflies?

They never stop lighting up.

How do you make a cat go "woof"?

Douse it with petrol and toss a lit match. WOOF!

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Why did the Smackhead kick the habit?

He didn't like nuns.

Why do cats like to hear other cats make noise?

A: It's meow-sic to their ears!