Why did the wizard ask a pretty chick to throw a heavy box on him ?

Not just the hard on............ it would've made him more flexible

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What products do you use for grooming?

she asked me. Her face looked quite taken aback when I said, "Facebook"

Why aren't you married yet" is like asking "Why haven't you jumped from a moving car yet?

B/c it's painful and not required

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Why did the Christmas tree get thrown in prison?

Treeson.

What do you get when you throw a dead baby off a cliff?

A pleasant erection

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What happened to the wizard who ran away with the circus?

The police made him bring it back again.

How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?

Depends what you want it to change into...