Why didn't the tree like to play checkers?

Because it was a chesnut tree.

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What do snotty vegetables do when they see something they don't like ?

They 'turnip' their noses.

Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they don't like Turkey

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Why was "what is love" played at a funeral?

Because he had a will, and he haddaway.

What game do you play with a gospel choir?

Where's Whitey

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How do you get a one armed Italian out of a tree?

You talk to him!

What did the tree say when it messed up?

A: It was an oakcident.