Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs?

It's a baby, not a stash of heroin.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call people who pretend to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day?

Counterfitz

Why are clothes so expensive?

I shouldn't have to pay so much to not be naked. Other people should pay me not to be naked.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What's blue and yellow and sits at the bottom of the pool?

A baby with slashed floaties. What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool? Floaties with a slashed baby.

Where do you buy a baby?

Hole Foods.

Heroin Jokes More Heroin Jokes

What's the difference between the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Harriet Tubman?

Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers were slaves to heroin.

How do you die by heroin?

When you are the villain

Fuss Jokes More Fuss Jokes

Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs?

It's a baby, not a stash of heroin.

Whats all of this fuss about reposts?

I haven't seem any all year! (It's 12:00 NZST)

Stash Jokes More Stash Jokes

Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs?

It's a baby, not a stash of heroin.

Where does Santa stash his money?

In a snowbank.