Why does Jesus Jaywalk?

Because he hates crosswalks

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Why doesn't Jesus like M&M's?

Because they fall through his hands.

What's the difference between Jesus and his portrait ?

His portrait only need one nail

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Why do terrorists hate wine?

Because there are too many zinfandel's.

Why do Europeans hate American food?

Europeans don't want to die yet. Unlike Americans who don't wanna diet.