Why is Texas the "Lone Star" state?

It was rated out of five.

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What do a Texas tornado and an Oklahoma divorce have in common?

Either way someone's losing a trailer.

What do a UT Austin student and a Texas A&ampM student have in common?

They both applied to UT Austin

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How would you rate an average upholstery job upon completion?

Eh. Sew-sew.

Who can watch an R rated movie but not a PG?

Batman