How can you tell when Dracula is sick?

By his coughin'

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How can you tell a hippie's been in your house?

He's still there when you get home. What's he say when you tell him to leave? "Na, 'ma stay"

How can you tell that your dog just gave birth?

It is now a parent.

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What did the spectator say when the magician transformed Dracula into 2?

Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd

What do you think of Dracula films?

Fangtastic!

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How do you bury a pothead?

Coughin'

What did one coffin say to the other?

Is that you coughin'