How can you tell when Dracula is sick?

By his coughin'

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Why do they say cleanliness is next to godliness?

Because every time i talk dirty to my wife she tells me to go to hell.

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!"

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Who had the best dinner with Megyn Kelly after the Fox Republican Debate?

Dracula.

Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania?

Dracula's dentist.

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How can you tell when Dracula is sick?

By his coughin'

What did one coffin say to the other?

Is that you coughin'