How did the steak knife find himself after drunk driving?

In car, serrated

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How do bulls drive their cars?

They steer them!

What car did the Apostles drive?

Hint:Acts 2:1 KJV)

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What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow?

A: Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night !

Where did people find out that Pluto was no longer a planet?

The orbituaries.

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What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY !

What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.