How did the steak knife find himself after drunk driving?

In car, serrated

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Why do Stasi officers make such good taxi drivers?

You get in the car and they already know your name and where you live.

Why is the LSU football team like my car?

They both used to have Les (less) Miles!

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What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben?

He found time-consuming.

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How did the steak knife find himself after drunk driving?

In car, serrated

What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.