Drunk Driving Jokes

Which Star Wars character was arrested for drunk driving?

Han Solo. Because he took a shot first.

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How did the steak knife find himself after drunk driving?

In car, serrated

What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY !

What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

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Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ?

Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !

How to keep an idiot waiting?

I'll tell you tomorrow. Edit: Grammar.

Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

What does the sign at a nudist Buddhist beach say?

No Bhikkhunis(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhikkhuni) allowed.

Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

What does a drunk police officer do?

Protect and swerve.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms or legs... ... sitting at your door?

Matt. ...floating in your pool Bob. ...hanging on your wall Art. ... water skiing Skipper.

What did Jesus say to the man with leprocy?

OOPS! GOT YOUR NOSE!

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Untie the rope...

What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear down from a tree?

Camembert!

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

What's the difference between the US and Russian Presidents?

US presidents get shot while Russian presidents take shots.

What do you say if you're testing a new firearm?

I'll take a shot"

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did Pee-wee Herman cross the road?

He was choking the chicken.

What does Delia Smith say when she wants to fight a road?

Let's be avenue.'

Stoner Jokes More Stoner Jokes

What's the difference between a stoner and a Muslim?

When stoners are smoking, they don't explode.

What do stoners ride to school?

The cannibus