Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What did the Syrians use to light their homes before candles?

A. Electricity.

What kind of cheese do you use to hide a small horse?

Mascarpone!

Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Why should you know who is the bride at an Irish wedding?

Because that's the one you're *not* allowed to punch in the face.

Why should the Roman Catholic Church allow priests to marry?

They would have a more detailed understanding of what Hell is actually like.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy who pretends he can speak French?

A francophony

How do you stop a Polish tank?

Shoot the guy that's pushing it

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

What do you call something that swims, is big and has 4 legs?

A whale with a table taped to it.

A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...

'Can I join you?'

Thumb Jokes More Thumb Jokes

Who has one thumb and survived a band saw accident?

This guy!!!

What has four fingers and a thumb but is not alive?

A glove.) First response: "My Aunt Lydia."