Table Jokes

Why didn't the table want to be sat on?

He wasn't a charitable guy

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What did the Olive say when it fell off the table?

I'll live...

Why do midgets make bad parents?

Cause they struggle to put food on the table

How do you get out?

You look in the mirror and see what you saw. Take the saw and saw the table in half. Two half's make a whole, go through the hole.

What's best about hiring an immigrant midget?

You pay them under the table )

Why did the couch give the table a dollar?

Because it was for chair-ity

What do you call a couch, chair, and a table made out of plants?

What do you call a couch, chair, and a table made out of plants? Ferniture.

Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!

What's the difference between an arts student and a table?

A table can support itself

Why are you guys all sitting on the same side of the table?

DaVinci

When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?

I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too ".

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

How big was the ant when it knocked over the table?

giANT!!

What was the most pivotal point in Jesus' ministry?

When he turned the tables on the Temple vendors!

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

Whats your biggest weakness?

I'm bad at taking compliments" "Actually that's quite endearing" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*

How's your meal?

i've dislocated my jaw & swallowed the whole table

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

What shape is your table?

A: Um, round But that's not really... R: Got it

What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

Why Mark?

I never take drugs. - I say stay away!! Or the drugs will fall from the table!!

Why won't pigs take up jogging?

They don't like to get that far from the table.

What do you call something that swims, is big and has 4 legs?

A whale with a table taped to it.

Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table?

Because it cracked itself up.

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.

Why did the table love playing volleyball?

Because it was always getting set! I think she gets it from her mother.

Who's there ! Amanda ! Amanda who ?

Amanda the table!

What is small, crying and cannot get under the table?

A child with pitchfork in his back

A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...

'Can I join you?'

3 SQL statements walk into a NoSQL bar. Soon, they walk out

They couldn't find a table.

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Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why did AMD release black edition cpu?

Cause they run faster than white.

Why did she get entry to the pub without paying a single penny?

Cause she being she, wasn't even worth a penny. (/hehheh)

Disease Jokes More Disease Jokes

What's the disease that slowly turns your skin black?

Rap Music

What does a neckbeard call a disease or ailment?

ma'lady

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

How many mice does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

None. Mice can't change light-bulbs as they are mere rodents without the physical or mental ability to do so. Not to mention it's much safer for them to pilfer food in the dark.

Why did the lady with multiple personality disorder share her food with a friend?

Because Sharon is Karen.

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

Why is the pool table green?

If you got your balls kicked around, I think you would be green too.

Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team?

She kept running away from the ball

Picnic Table Jokes More Picnic Table Jokes

What's the difference between a black man and a picnic table?

A picnic table can support a family of 4.

Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table?

A picnic table can support a family of four

Art Student Jokes More Art Student Jokes

What do you say to an art student with a job?

Uhh, I would like the Quarter Pounder with Cheese"

What's the difference between an Engineering student and an Arts student when tying their shoes?

The arts student gets a mark for it.

Mirror Jokes More Mirror Jokes

Why do French tanks have review mirrors?

Because they want to see the front line too

Why did the mirror have holes in it?

A: A moron kept trying to shoot himself.

Sneak Jokes More Sneak Jokes

How do you frighten a Bee?

Sneak up behind it and yell BOO BEE!

Why do elephants wear green shoes?

So they can sneak across pool tables. Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table? Works, doesn't it?