What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

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Egg Jokes More Egg Jokes

What do you call an egg from outer space?

An unidentified flying omelet!

Why do most French recipes require only one egg?

In France, one egg is *un oeuf*

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

How are men like carpet tiles?

If you lay them properly the first time around you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

Why didn't the guitarist get laid?

Because he had bad pickups

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you give a quadriplegic a headache?

Ask him to hold open the elevator door

What do all North Korean's say when you ask them how their day was?

can't complain"

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What was the last food delivered to the Twin Towers?

Pizza. Someone ordered two large planes.

How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered?

Waiter: Well you know how slow turtles are.

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

How do you get out?

You look in the mirror and see what you saw. Take the saw and saw the table in half. Two half's make a whole, go through the hole.

Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

Whats the best thing on the menu?

Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered?

Waiter: Well you know how slow turtles are.