What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

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Egg Jokes More Egg Jokes

Why'd they call the egg a pimp?

Because he got ova easy.

How is your diet going?

Horrible. I had eggs for breakfast." "Scrambled " "Cadbury."

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

Why didn't the guitarist get laid?

Because he had bad pickups

Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid?

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice cream?

Sure, Bert!

When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, "So, what did she say?

I'm funny that way.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What is the best food to order from Amazon?

Prime Rib

Why should you never order the T-bone in an Alaskan restaurant?

Because it might be a moose steak.

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

Why Mark?

I never take drugs. - I say stay away!! Or the drugs will fall from the table!!

Why are you guys all sitting on the same side of the table?

DaVinci

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

Why does your sign say "Fine Dining"?

Waiter: We can dream can't we

Whats the best thing on the menu?

Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*