What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What kind of sandwich is this?

She asks. "It cheese ma."

What happened when a ghost asked for a brandy at his local pub?

The landlord said "Sorry we don't serve spirits."

Lincoln Jokes More Lincoln Jokes

Who was the least guilty President of the them all?

Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

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Which president was famous for his long pauses?

Ellipsis S. Grant.

What do you call a foreign born communist running for President?

Ted Cruz

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?

I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too ".

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.