What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

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When do accountants laugh out loud?

When somebody asks for a raise

How do you know if your friend, "Doesn't even OWN a TV?

Because it's this answer to every question you ask them. "Did you hear about the President's new policy on... " "I don't even OWN a TV!"

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Who was the least guilty President of the them all?

Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.

Which president was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

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How did the puppeteer meet the President?

He pulled some strings.

Who succeeded the first President of the USA ?

The second one !

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Why Mark?

I never take drugs. - I say stay away!! Or the drugs will fall from the table!!

Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!