Lincoln Jokes

Which president was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

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Who was the only president that was not guilty?

Lincoln. He was in a cent.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

Who was the least guilty President of the them all?

Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

Which president was the most logical?

Lincoln. He made the most cents.

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's the first thing the pope did after resigning?

Asked Jerry Sandusky for his lil black book.

What happens when u ask a fake logic fan... What is your favorite logic album?

Their response Flexicution

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do you call a melon that's had a bit too much to drink?

A Watermelon...

Why don't Hollywood talent agents drink chocolate milk?

Because it's not about who you know, but no Yoo-hoo.

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

What's good for the soul and rarely found in America?

A sense of humor.

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on the new Top Gear?

It doesn't make sense, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

Why can't mites race in NASCAR?

Because mites make rights, not lefts.

What did Noah tell his son while they were fishing?

Better get this right, I only have 2 worms.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How do you make an idiot easily wait ?

I tell you tomorrow.

What letter has to wait in line the longest?

U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

What's the difference between a Russian Potato and a U.S. Potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?

Bombs

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

Why did the table love playing volleyball?

Because it was always getting set! I think she gets it from her mother.

Whats your biggest weakness?

I'm bad at taking compliments" "Actually that's quite endearing" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*

Christopher Columbus Jokes More Christopher Columbus Jokes

What is the difference between St. Patrick and Christopher Columbus?

One drove all the snakes from Ireland, the other drove away all of the Native Americans.

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."