Disease Jokes

What disease does a married man have?

onejina

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What do you call a Spartan king with a disease?

Leonitis

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

What does a neckbeard call a disease or ailment?

ma'lady

What disease causes people to swear at the dinner table?

Gilles de la gourmette

What disease do Spartans get the most?

Leon-itis.

What country are you most likely to get a disease?

GERMany.

What disease do terrible parkers have?

parkin'sins

What kind of disease do you get from birds?

Chirpes. It's a canarial disease, and I hear it's untweetable.

What's it called when two strains of a disease are identical?

plague-arism

How can you tell vampirism is a disease?

On account of the coffin.

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What's the disease that slowly turns your skin black?

Rap Music

What disease do you get from kissing birds?

Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. They say it's untweetable.

What do you call a disease that only effects ducks?

A mallard-y

What does a neckbeard call his imaginary girlfriend and his disease?

Ma'lady

What disease do neckbeard mosquitos give you?

M'laria.

What's the only disease a potato can get?

tuber-culosis

What's the form of public transit most rife with filth and disease?

Let's name our sandwich shop after it

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

What disease does a mad scientist have?

boffin spongiform encephalopathy

What kind of disease did the guy get when he skipped the condom and plowed a girl with down's syndrome?

Slow clap

Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

because they're inbred

What disease do horses fear most?

Hay Fever!

What disease did the house have?

Shingles.

Which disease do hobbits fear the most?

The Bilbonic plague.

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Bird Jokes More Bird Jokes

Where do birds meet for coffee ?

In a nest-cafe !

What do you call a bird that speaks Spanish?

A Si-gull

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

Why is George R.R. Martin really bad at using Twitter?

There's a limit to how many characters you are allowed to waste.

Diseased Beaver Jokes More Diseased Beaver Jokes

What's worse than a dead muskrat under your piano?

A diseased beaver on your organ.

What's worse than finding a dead monkey on your piano?

Finding a diseased beaver on your organ.

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

Why did the piece of gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chicken.

What do you call a pig stuck in a topiary?

A hedgehog.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of database does a Pokdex use?

PokMongoDB

What kind of hair do oceans have?

Wavy hair.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the doctor say to the man wearing cling-film?

I can clearly see you're nuts

How much time do I have left, doctor?

Doctor: 10 Guy: 10 what ! 10 days, 10 months, 10 years Doctor: 9...8...7...6...5...

Pms Jokes More Pms Jokes

How many women with PMS does it take to screw-in a light bulb?

Two. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . IT JUST DOES, OKAY?

What should PMS be called?

Ovary-acting

Venereal Disease Jokes More Venereal Disease Jokes

Whats the difference between a smart midget and a venereal disease?

Ones a cunning runt...

What's the difference between a smart midget... What's the difference between a smart midget and a woman with a venereal disease?

Well, one's a cunning runt...