How can you tell vampirism is a disease?

On account of the coffin.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell which Russian olympic spectators are actually KGB agents?

The ones with food.

What does a lion at the beach have in common with Christmas?

They both have Sandy Claws.

Disease Jokes More Disease Jokes

What disease do neckbeard mosquitos give you?

M'laria.

What disease do you get from kissing birds?

Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. They say it's untweetable.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

They start coffin.

What did one sick casket say to the other sick casket?

Is that you, coffin?

Account Jokes More Account Jokes

Where does Sean Connery put his beard clippings?

His shavings account.

What did the banker say to the tongue when he rejected his loan application?

There's no accounting for taste.