What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why did the golfer wear 2 shirts when he went golfing?

In case he got a hole-in-one!

Why do the Lanisters have such big beds?

Because they push 2 twins together to make a king.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What did Helen Keller say after she finished her bowl of cereal for breakfast?

I may be blind, but I can see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Why does Leonardo DiCaprio love his fast car?

Because he got an award for revvin' it.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What's the difference between Twitter and Game of Thrones?

Twitter only allows 140 characters.

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

What's the thin line between love and hate?

A condom.

What type of condom does Spock use?

Vulcanized rubber!

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

Why did the cheese get sent to the asylum?

Coz 'e-mmental!

Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf?

They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.

800 Jokes More 800 Jokes

What is a caffeine addict's excuse for drinking coffee in the evening?

It's 8:00 somewhere!

How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar?

Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds.

Rule Jokes More Rule Jokes

What are the rules about Canadians?

Does everybody get one Do I get to choose Where do I sign up

What do you call a developmentally challenged member of the ruling elite?

An autistocrat.

Llama Jokes More Llama Jokes

What does Rick and the Llama have in common?

Caaaaarl!!

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.