What is a caffeine addict's excuse for drinking coffee in the evening?

It's 8:00 somewhere!

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What does Putin say during his new years speech?

Don't know but its so scary that they drink for ten days straight right after!

Why did the Udon noodles stop drinking?

They wanted to be Soba... I heard that a few days ago and wanted to share it.

800 Jokes More 800 Jokes

How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar?

Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds.

Why did the spud lover set his alarm for 8:00?

Because he wanted to get a-po-ta-to clock. to make joke more apparent

Evening Jokes More Evening Jokes

What has four limbs in the morning, two limbs in the afternoon, and is dead by evening?

A disobedient slave.

What happens to all the unsold christmas trees?

A Total TreeCull. Basically, on the evening of December 25th, every christmas tree salesperson does the trees