Evening Jokes

What is a caffeine addict's excuse for drinking coffee in the evening?

It's 8:00 somewhere!

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What cuts four farts in the morning, two farts at midday, and three farts in the evening?

A sphinxter.

What's the opposite of evening?

unevening.

What happens to all the unsold christmas trees?

A Total TreeCull. Basically, on the evening of December 25th, every christmas tree salesperson does the trees

What did Dr. Frankenstein say when his monster showed up for the ball?

You look quite put-together this evening.

What do elephants do in the evenings ?

Watch elevision !

What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening?

Have a nice bite!

What has 4 legs in the morning, two at lunch, and three in the evening?

A cannibal

What would Caitlyn Jenner need to do if she changed her mind about being a woman?

She would need to reJennerate some balls. What does Caitlyn Jenner do before she goes out Bruce's up for the evening.

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the evening and 6 legs at night?

I've trapped it in my bedroom, send help...

What has four limbs in the morning, two limbs in the afternoon, and is dead by evening?

A disobedient slave.

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Why does the house only have one window?

Cheeseburger (joke from my 3 year old neice this evening)

What's white in the morning, white in the afternoon and white in the evening?

An Irishman trying to get a tan.

What is the cat's favourite TV show ?

The evening mews !

What do romantic fish sing to each other?

Salmon-chanted evening !

Why are cats longer in the evening than they are in the morning?

Because they're let out in the evening and taking in in the morning !

What losses its head in the morning and gets it back in the evening?

A pillow

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Intel Jokes More Intel Jokes

What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums?

A: The warning label.

Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?

A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What do you call your friend Splee at a soiree?

A PARTY SPLUNGE!

Why is no one friends with Dracula?

Cause hes a pain in the neck.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What happened when the Ape won the door prize?

He didn't take it - he already had a door!

Why did a scientist disconnect his doorbell?

because he wanted to win the No-bell prize!! Sorry, I ll walk out

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What did the baker say when he saw the beautiful woman?

I think I'm in loaf." Ba dum, tss.

What's the Pirates favorite letter?

Ya think it be the Arrrr, but it's really the C.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What part of a chicken is a musical instrument?

The drumstick. (Had this joke stuck in my head for a while so felt like sharing it.)

Why aren't there any white jokes on /r/Jokes?

Because jokes are the white man's burden."

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why is Superman wanted by the police?

He is wanted for being the Man of Steal.

Who would want a "Semi" tattoo on their colon?

Not that there's anything wrong with that....

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?

He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye

What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty?

Pessimist Prime

Destroy Jokes More Destroy Jokes

What did the robot say to the other robot as they destroyed each other?

Nothing personal."

Why is CoD like women?

Search and Destroy.