What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?

Do the math! Me: Seriously ! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How many UPM's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None! If you'd just make it a day exterior we wouldn't be screwing around with all these damn light bulbs!"

What's the difference between a joke on Reddit and a joke on 9Gag?

About a day.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why did Timmy fall off the swing?

Me: why Him: Timmy has no arms. Knock knock. Me: Who's there Him: Not Timmy.

What did the Mexican say when the house fell on him?

Ayyyy watch it homes!

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

Where are a squirrel and a chipmunk most likely to meet?

A nut house.

Why should you try to date girls you meet at the gym?

Because you already know she'll work out.

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

How do you make a dumb person curious?

I'll tell you tomorrow...

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

What happened to your three week diet ?

Player: I finished it in three days !

Lead Jokes More Lead Jokes

What's the brightest airship ever made?

LED Zeppelin

What are Hillary's convictions?

The FBI hasn't announced her indictment yet, but hopefully it will lead to at least one

Math Jokes More Math Jokes

Why will I go down in history?

I dunno, but I'll go down in math and chemistry too.

What do you call a Parrot that loves maths and hates food?

a polynomeal