How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What room is missing from almost every house?

a Mushroom

What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing?

Help! My pocket's been picked!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between a public park and a public toilet?

I need to know before my court date on Monday.

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do you call an Hispanic gentleman who drives a hybrid car?

A green bean.

What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants?

Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!"

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

When is the month when the most trees fall?

Sep-timber

How do you get a black man out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

What do you have when you just used the toilet and realized there's no toilet paper?

A real mess on your hands.

Air Jokes More Air Jokes

What's happens to gold when it is exposed to the air ?

Pupil : It's stolen !

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road?

Dodged-a-Rango

What do you call a doe that swerves all over the road?

A rackless driver...

Freshen Jokes More Freshen Jokes

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

How does a scientist freshen their breath?

With experi-mints!