How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

What do you call a shirt missing its sleeves?

An ampu-tee.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

When someone asks "You know what I think?

I say "Yes I do". End of discussion.

What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the Battered Women's Shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How did a blind woman drive herself crazy?

A. Trying to read a stucco wall.

Why are Asians bad at golf?

They don't know how to drive.

Realise Jokes More Realise Jokes

Why was Orlando Bloom sad when he realised he wasn't able to build small toy houses?

Because he was Legolas.

What's your strongest weakness?

Candidate: ... *Realises stupid question & thinks of cover up M: It's a trick question. You're hired!

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why are Paris's streets lined with trees?

German soldiers like to march in the shade.

What did the tree say to the lumberjack?

I'm falling for you

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

What do you call a doe that swerves all over the road?

A rackless driver...

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener