How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december?

The specific ocean.

What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema?

Miss most of the film!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when a blond is having a bad day?

Because a tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

What are we supposed to do about it?

Dad replies: "I don't know honey, but I think, hitting him would be very wrong."

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why did the virus get a ticket?

Because he was driving under the influenza......

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Because they both drove Edgar Allen Poe straight into the grave.

Realise Jokes More Realise Jokes

What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow?

A: Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night !

When you realise your friend is an idiot" Stories!?

Hey guys, I just recently found out that my friend is an idiot. I was talking with him on Facebook and I was telling him about this game that was free online, and he says "I'm on my way to see my girlfriend". I'm sorry but WHAT? well I have a fish tank. Feel free to comment down below your stories about how you realised your friend is an idiot.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What does a tree do when he's going on a vacation?

He packs his trunk and leaves. I should go back to studying now. K bye.

Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?

Dunno, they're just a bit shady.

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

What do you call a doe that swerves all over the road?

A rackless driver...

Why did the car swerve off the road?

It hit the chicken. Bazing!