Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?

A: Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Where did the farmer find his missing baby horse?

In the foliage.

Why did the terrorists have to blow up a Paris nightclub?

Because their planes kept missing the Eiffel Tower.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?

Lost

What's the difference between my virginity and the Apple Airphones?

Losing my virginity wouldn't cost me as much.

Age Jokes More Age Jokes

Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine?

A: It depends on the age.

How can you tell a bernie sanders supporter from a hillary supporter?

There age

Violist Jokes More Violist Jokes

Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long?

A: So the violists don't need to be retrained.

What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?

A: Violists.

Notice Jokes More Notice Jokes

What phone etiquette?

You hand me your phone, you better believe I'ma hurry & scroll through as many pics as I can before you notice.

When you see geese flying in V formation, have you ever noticed that one side of the V is longer than the other?

Well, there's a reason for that. There are more geese on that side.