Violist Jokes

Why don't violists get stressed?

Because they have nothing to fret about!

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Why don't violists play hide and seek?

A: Because no one will look for them.

Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long?

A: So the violists don't need to be retrained.

What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?

A: Violists.

What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?

A: A dressmaker tucks up frills.

Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?

A: Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.

What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?

A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

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Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

How many philosophers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It depends on the definition of lightbulb.

What is the definition of a major seventh?

A: A violist playing octaves.

Position Jokes More Position Jokes

Why do some writers have a hard time graphing equations?

because they spend too much time with the x-position

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil's advocado.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What happened to Jesus when he tried to play defense on a professional Basketball player?

He got crossed.

What do baby pythons play with?

Rattle-snakes.

Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

What do corals get stressed about?

Current events.

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

Fret Jokes More Fret Jokes

Why don't violists get stressed?

Because they have nothing to fret about!

How do you know a guitarist is sad?

They start to fret.

Notice Jokes More Notice Jokes

Why is NATO afraid of Russia?

Cause Russia's been Putin them on notice. Just thought of this.

What Color Is It?

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What did the people who hung Jesus to the cross say?

Nailed it

Why did everyone wanted to hang out with the mushroom?

Because he was a fungi

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy?

A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.

Whats the difference between a Ginger and a Shoe ?

The shoe has a sole