Position Jokes

What did the witch say when her position was terminated?

You can't fire me! I snappopcrackleaaaaaargh!!!!

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How do you get to a position of power in a science lab?

Work over time

What's the difference between a Harley and a hoover?

The position of the dirtbag.

Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover?

A: When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position, and when he found the position, he couldn't muster up the momentum.

What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a Hoover vaccuum?

The position of the dirt bag.

Why do some writers have a hard time graphing equations?

because they spend too much time with the x-position

What do computer programmers and aged-care nurses have in common?

They both worry about the position of colons.

Why is Stephen Hawking so controversial?

He never changes his position.

How do Japanese politicians say they got their positions?

With erections.

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil's advocado.

What's the difference between a vacuum and a Harley Davidson?

The position of the dirtbag

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Whats the difference between a Hoover and a Harley?

The position of the dirtbag.

What position makes the ugliest children?

Ask your parents

What position does the pig play in football?

Loinback.

How do you find Illuminati's secret hideout?

You triangulate their position!

Why are quantum physicists bad lovers?

When they find the position, they can't find the momentum. When they find the momentum, they can't find the position.

What happens when U change position too fast?

You get an unpleasant vowel movement.

Why do the Heisenberg operators for position and momentum work from home?

Because they won't commute.

What position does your brother play in the school football team ?

Jay: I think he's one of the drawbacks !

What's your heigth and position?

Pilot: Well I'm 6 foot tall and I'm sitting front left.

Which positions does a violist use?

A: First third and emergency.

What position do u play?

ME: I'm a *thinks back to the only game I watched* wide-retriever.

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Harley Jokes More Harley Jokes

What's the difference between a Hoover and a Harley?

The location of the dirtbag.

Whats the difference between a Hoover and a Harley?

The position of the dirtbag.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why did people use insulation containing deadly toxins?

It was asbestos they could do at the time!

What is the difference between a good joke and a bad joke?

Timing

Battery Jokes More Battery Jokes

What does a battery have that a women hasn't?

A positive side....

What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman?

ANSWER: A battery has a positive side.

Usain Bolt Jokes More Usain Bolt Jokes

What Cell Phone Company does Usain Bolt use?

Sprint

Why does Usain Bolt hate asians?

Because he is a racist.

Quantum Jokes More Quantum Jokes

What do you call a quantum physicist's hair style?

Schrdinger's cut

Why are quantum physicists the kinkiest of all scientists?

They have the ability to penetrate both holes at the same time. explanation(http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slitexperiment)

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What's big, thick, hairy, and makes babies?

Your mom.

What is the most recycled joke that keeps getting used?

Your mom.

Heisenberg Jokes More Heisenberg Jokes

Why does Heisenberg hate driving?

He gets lost every time he checks the speedometer.

Why did Heisenberg remove the speedometer from his car?

So he would stop getting lost everything he checked it.

Terminate Jokes More Terminate Jokes

What's the difference between Victoria Taylor and Arnold Schwarzenegger?

One was fired, the other was terminated

What did the witch say when her position was terminated?

You can't fire me! I snappopcrackleaaaaaargh!!!!