Why did Peter Parker get fired?

He spent all day on the web.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

When someone says "excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable", how long are they usually gone?

Two days seems like a long time.

How was your day ?

And he goes: " rrrrRough "

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why are stick people extinct?

Because you can't rub two sticks together you get fire.

What do you call a person who fights fire?

Firefighter.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What do you call a liquid that spent all its money dissolving solute?

insolvent

What did Santa Clause say when he came down Lindsay Lohan's chimney and found her spending Christmas Eve with her pals Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton?

A: Ho, ho, ho!

Peter Parker Jokes More Peter Parker Jokes

Why does Peter Parker main spy in tf2?

Because SPY DA MAN!

What's the difference between Peter Parker and Basic White Girls?

Parker gets paid for his selfies.

Web Jokes More Web Jokes

Why did the duck stick his leg into a computer?

He wanted to have webbed feet.

How did spider-man reach the inner city kids?

He web-slang