Why did Peter Parker get fired?

He spent all day on the web.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

Why won't the Alzheimer's patient pay attention to you?

Because he doesn't know the time of day.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

When did Pinocchio learn he was made of wood?

when his hand caught fire!!

Where do you want to be in 5 years?

Me: Oh, it doesn't matter. You will have fired me well before then.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What is best potato?

Latvian potato is best potato. Is kind you spend whole life looking for. Also, low calories.

What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog

Peter Parker Jokes More Peter Parker Jokes

Why does Peter Parker have a shower in his apartment?

He can't get out of a bath.

What is the difference between Spiderman and Superman?

Peter Parker can swing a web. Clark Kent.

Web Jokes More Web Jokes

Why do ducks have webbed feet?

To stomp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out the burning ducks.

Why do ducks have webbed feet ?

To stamp out forest fires !