How do Filipinos count money?

One-a two-a three-a four-a another-a ...

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How can you tell what rank a Russian soldier is?

Count the stripes on his track pants.

What can a monster do that you can't do?

Count up to 25 on his fingers.

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What is the best way to lose money?

A: Lend it to Greece.

What do you call money on drugs?

A high five...

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What do you call two Filipino pilots?

A pair of pliers

What do you call a Filipino contortionist?

A manila folder!!!