How do footballers send messages?

By referee-mail.

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What's the best way to send a letter to Prince Charles?

Heir mail

Why don't vikings send e-mails?

They prefer to use Norse code.

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How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"

Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese person?

You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message

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What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game?

Sorry it was a freak hic!

What did the German Footballer name his pet?

Schweinsteiger.