Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ?

He was the skipper !

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How did LaKeisha's Mom finally stop her from bouncing on the trampoline in the rec room?

She put a piece of velcro on the ceiling.

What do a big bar of chocolate and a frag grenade have in common?

Everybody gets a piece.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

What did one end of the rope say to the other?

We were bound to get together...

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What is CC Sabathia's favorite inning to pitch in baseball?

The bottom of the fifth

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So he could bring his 'sub' on

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By referee-mail.

What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game?

Sorry it was a freak hic!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs... ... sitting at your door?

Matt. ...floating in your pool Bob. ...hanging on your wall Art. ... water skiing Skipper.

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ?

He was the skipper !