How do you make a baby float?

2 scoops ice cream 1 scoop dead baby

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How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

Whats black, white and red all over?

2 nuns in a chainsaw fight!

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What has got 8 legs and 1 eye?

2 chairs and a half of a fish.

What type of milk does Bernie Sanders drink?

Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!

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What did the Baskin-Robbins manager say to the employee that wanted to date a co-worker?

Don't poop where you scoop.

How do you make a dog float?

Take two scoops of ice cream a couple of squirts of soda and a small dog.