What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?

Remove only the top 1% please.

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How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"

How many times does 1 go into 0?

As Many Times As It Wants!

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What's the difference between training wheels and training bras?

I need two hands to remove training wheels.

How many TSA agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. TSA agents only know how to remove clothes putting them on is different matter completely.

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Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs?

Because only the top 1% can stay above water.

What did Bernie Madoff say to Bernie Sanders?

I'll take your money!

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How does a man on a moon get his haircut?

Eclipse it.

Hey, dad, did you get a haircut?

No, I got them all cut.