How do you tell if water is true or false?

Bring it to a bool.

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Why do photons travels slower through water?

They having a float-on. it very good

What's the big deal about jesus turning water into wine?

I turned MY student loans into vodka...

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What are some good dad jokes?

I never had a dad to tell me any.

Why can't you tell pun jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things literally

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Why won't the witch let the traveling pig actors into her gingerbread cottage?

She's afraid they'll bring down the house.

How many puppies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Do you know yet Me (in a sea of puppies): No, they haven't done it. Bring more