How does a psychic cokehead tell the future?

With a magic 8-ball

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How can you tell if someone is ticklish?

You use test tickles

How can you tell if someone is a pilot?

They'll just tell you.

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What kind of money does Mario use?

8-bitcoins

Why are manhole covers circular?

Because Rouleaux triangles are too hard to manufacture. What do you call 8 hobbits? A hobbyte.

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What do you call an acid trip so hard that it gives you visions of the future?

Psychic-delic.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.