Future Jokes

What do you call a black rapper with no future?

Future

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Why aren't there any mexicans in star trek?

They don't work in the future either.

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

What do you call a nose that can see into the future?

Nostrildamus

What do you call an acid trip so hard that it gives you visions of the future?

Psychic-delic.

What do you call a man who can smell the future?

Nostrildamus

What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of "Back to the Future"?

They Hire 'Em A Biff!

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Medium Pizzas

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

because they are set in the future.

How does a psychic cokehead tell the future?

With a magic 8-ball

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How many people from the future does it take to change a light bulb?

The lightbulb works fine...

How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What is the Fonz looking forward to the most in the future?

The iPhone Ayyyye-t

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

Why are you so ugly?

Boy: I'm you from the future.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

What do you call a morbidly obese person who can predict the future?

A four-chin teller.

What is small, dark, and knocking at the door?

The future

What do you call a Mexican who can see into the future?

Cristobal

Why aren't there any Muslims in Star Trek?

Because it's the future

What do you call a hacker who can see the future?

A 4chan teller.

What do ghosts use to predict the future?

Horror-scopes!

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

because their future is so bright

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl

How does a woman show she's planning for the future?

Plastic Surgery.

What would I do if Future tried talking to me?

I'd autotune him out. :)

Why are there no Puerto Rican's in Star Trek?

They won't work in the future either.

Why aren't there any republicans in Star-Trek?

Because it's the future.

What do you call gas from the human body that NASA could impliment into fuel for their technology in the future?

Rocket Farts.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why do men stare at a woman's breasts?

To prove they can focus on two things at once.

What do you call a man who is too proud of his balls ?

Ego-Testicle.

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

What's the difference between the ISIS headquarters and a kindergarten?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods?

Teenagers these days be all "I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."

Past Jokes More Past Jokes

What does a cranky Japanese person suffer from?

PAST: Post Atomic Stress Disorder

What was the ancient language Link needed a book to translate in "A Link to the Past"?

Hyruleglyphics.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does a midwestern farmer and a rapper have in common?

They both want to make it rain.

Why did the man marry a monkey?

Because he wanted a PRIME-MATE! sorry ...sorry twice if this is an old joke

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What does an obese white woman have in common with a brick?

Eventually, they're both getting laid by a Mexican.

Why don't mexicans have checking accounts?

It's too hard to spray paint your name on the little line.

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

Why did Amy Schumer go to a psychic?

Because it's the only way she'll ever get near a medium.

What's the difference between a house cleaner and a thief?

The way they enter your house.

Hour Jokes More Hour Jokes

How many Buckeye football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. But he gets three hours credit.

How do you make a buff guy talk to you for hours?

ask about his routine.

Old People Jokes More Old People Jokes

Why do old people prefer to live in one story houses?

There close to the ground.

What do kids yell at old people who are just trying to play?

GET OFF MY LAN!