Old People Jokes

What do you call it when old people are forced into slavery?

Indentured servitude.

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Whats do a baby and old people have in common?

They both get ditched in the park

What do kids yell at old people who are just trying to play?

GET OFF MY LAN!

What kid of music do old people listen to?

Hip-Pop

What technology are old people better at using than young people?

Life support.

What has 5 teeth and 60 eyes?

A bus full of old people

Why do old people read the bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"

What kind of underwear do old people wear?

Depends.

What do old people smell like?

Depends

How do old people go to the bathroom?

Depends.

What do you call a bus driver who helps old people and parents with children on and off the bus?

A stand up driver.

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What do old people often do?

Die

What do old people always keep in their back pocket?

Depends.

Why is your shirt on wrong?

Daughter: I think you old people call it: "second base"

Why are there so many old people in Church?

They're cramming for the final.

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

Why don't old people like tennis?

There's too much racket

How do old people check up to see how their friends are doing?

They look in the obituary

What do old people with Alzheimer's often say?

I don't remember.

Why do old people prefer to live in one story houses?

There close to the ground.

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Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why was the glow worm unhappy ?

Because her children weren't that bright !

What kind of punch hurts children the most?

A sandy hook.

Pocket Jokes More Pocket Jokes

Why does Mr Tayto carry a phone in his top pocket?

In case Johnny Onion Rings!

Why do elephants have trunks ?

Because they've no pockets to put things in !

Bible Jokes More Bible Jokes

Why do old people read the bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"

What do you call a Bible for the blind?

The Holy Braille!

Final Jokes More Final Jokes

Why do old people read the bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"

What happens if the protesters in Egypt win?

They advance to the finals against Tunisia.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why did Ayn Rand lose the pool tournament?

She wouldn't play on a regulation size table

What kind of music can't Ed Sheeran play?

Soul

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

How long does it take for a Homeless man's stomach to be full?

A couple of seconds.

What did the first airplane engine say to the second airplane engine?

Are we there soon?" "Not jet."

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

Why are parents boring?

Because they're groan-ups.

What did Stevie Wonder's younger brother think their parents named him after British royalty?

Because they named him Stevie Twoder.

60 Jokes More 60 Jokes

What do you call an unfriendly American from the 60's?

An anti-socialist

What did they start calling Kim Jong Un after he shed 60 kgs in weight?

Kim Jong Un what you thought it was Slim Jong Un? Sorry but you are not allowed to make puns on your supreme leader's name in North Korea