How does a Russian Aeroflot pilot navigate?

By reading street signs.

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Why is Putin Always early?

because hes Russian (rush-en)

Why are the Soviets Russian?

Because there's no Stalin.

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What's the most frighting thing you can read in braille?

Do not touch.

How did Mister Baggins know when his neighbor had died?

He read it in the Hobbituary.