How does an apple a day keep the doctor away?

When you take careful aim.

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Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, because they charge you $500 for the iLightbulb.

How do you get the most apples at Halloween?

Take a snorkel.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Whats the difference between a Doctors Without Borders hospital and ISIS?

How would I know, Im just a US Air Force Operator.

What did the doctor say to the cancer patient?

You have tumor months to live.