How does Yo-Yo Ma answer the phone?

Cello?

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How do like really laid-back types answer the phone?

Mellow.

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

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What do you call a doctor who is always on a phone?

An oncologist

Why did the phone keep walking into the wall?

It lost its contacts.

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What instrument does God play?

He plays the cello. As it says in scripture: "Our God is a cellist God."

What is the difference between a cello and a coffin?

A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.