How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?

No one knows they never keep the house!

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How many perverts does it take to change a lightbulb?

69

How many PETA members does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They can't change anything.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb 2 to turn the ladder and 17 to be on the guest list.

How many monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Monkeys screw in trees.