What did I do before Twitter?

Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY ! !

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Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Which family in Game Of Thrones fell down the stairs?

The Bannisters

Where did the frog say his family came from?

They are German and a tad-Polish"

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What's the difference between a Twitter post and a Russian Novel?

A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters

What is your sin, my child?

Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time . . .

God Jokes More God Jokes

What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

Why did you make women so beautiful?

God:"So you would love her." Man:"Then why did you make her so dumb " God:"So she would love you."