What did I do before Twitter?

Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY ! !

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Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What has four wheels and can't support a family?

A liberal arts major. I lied about the wheels.

What is the difference between a black man and a couch?

A couch can support a family

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Whatcha doing?

Me: "Going on twitter to hang out." H: "Twitter is an app, not a place." Me: *whispers venomously* "Is too a place!!"

What did I do before Twitter?

Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY ! !

God Jokes More God Jokes

What do you call it?

God: A toddler.

What does the electron say to the resistor?

Ohm my god you're impeding me. *initiate knee slap