What did the kid say to his mother right before he went to India?

Mumbai

What does a goat have when it gives birth?

A kid.

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

How do you make an ugly kid?

Go ask your mother Courtesy of a hot dog vendor in Atlanta

What is the difference between wealth and poverty?

And the dad says: 'Wealth is caviar, champagne and women. Poverty is hot pocket, beer and your mother!'

India Jokes More India Jokes

What do they call cunnilingis in India?

A punjob.

What time is it in India?

7-Eleven on the dot.