What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What's the most useful material?

Scratch. You can make anything from scratch.

Why is Vanilla Ice scratching his head?

Lice. Lice, maybe.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What is 20 inches long and makes women scream at night?

A stillborn

Why are haunted houses so noisy in April?

That's when the ghosts do their spring screaming!

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What did one casket say to the other?

Is that you coffin?

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

George Washington Jokes More George Washington Jokes

What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

What's George Washington's favorite element?

Americium-1776