What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

How'd you get the scratches?

flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah.

What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy ?

You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours !"

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

Why did the the acrophobe pothead start screaming?

She's afraid of heights.

Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?

She was wearing mittens

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What do you called a prince-sized bed?

A coffin.

What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?

Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad.

George Washington Jokes More George Washington Jokes

What did George Washington say to his men just before they got in the boat?

Men, get in the boat!"

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."