What did the stressed-out casino worker say to their boss?

I literally cannot deal.

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

What did the drunk say when his boss enquired about his availability?

Yeah, I'm av**ale**able.

Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

Why did the stressed out zombie go on vacation?

He needed some time to himself to decompose.

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

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What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

How do you deal with heavy traffic?

A: Heavy psychedelics.