What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why do we always ran out of toothpicks?

Nanny: I don't know maam. I always return it after using.

How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, because they charge you $500 for the iLightbulb.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a lawyer from drownng?

Shoot him before he hits the ground

Why can't Californians stop at stop signs?

I don't know and this is not a laughing matter.

Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

What do you call someone addicted to both crack and weed?

A rockin' roller.

What do necrophiliacs and alcoholics have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who gives a cluck (I wonder if the moderators will censor this joke merely on the grounds that it is categorically terrible )

Why should optometrists never tell jokes?

Because they're too cornea.

Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

How about a month filled with stress and obligation?

Pitch for December

Why was the computer stressed out when it got home?

Because it had a hard drive.

Earthquake Jokes More Earthquake Jokes

What did one tectonic plate say to the other after the earthquake?

That was your fault!!!

What was James Bond after he slept through an earthquake?

Shaken, not stirred.

Fault Jokes More Fault Jokes

What did the Earth say to the Earthquake?

Sorry...that was my fault.

Who's fault is it?

The truck's fault. What was it doing in the kitchen?