Why did the stressed out zombie go on vacation?

He needed some time to himself to decompose.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What's the biggest joke of all time?

My life. My entire goddamned life.

What time does Sean Connery go to the US Open?

Tennish

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How long do you need to know someone before sharing fries?

Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar.

Whats the last letter in the alphabet?

somebody help plz I need help on kindergarten project

Zombie Jokes More Zombie Jokes

What's the difference between a zombie and a redneck?

One is a brainless, dirty, slow moving abomination, and the other is a zombie.

Why was the zombie in such a rush to get to his book signing?

He had deadlines to meet

Vacation Jokes More Vacation Jokes

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A different bar.

Where do cats go on vacation?

Maui.

Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

Why was the doctor stressed?

He was losing his patients

Why was the Taiwanese business man so stressed out?

Because he had a Taipei personality.

Decompose Jokes More Decompose Jokes

What do hospitals and refrigerators have in common?

If you pull the plug, the vegetables start to decompose.

What's Beethoven up to these days?

Decomposing