What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer?

A: You make my temperature rise.

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Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom?

The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.

How do we know that Jesus was made of bread?

Because yeasterday he died and tomorrow he will have risen.

Thermometer Jokes More Thermometer Jokes

How is a thief like a thermometer on a hot day?

A: They are both up to something.

How are you feeling?

The thermometer responded, "0K."