What do bad writers use to pick up hot pans?

Plot Holders.

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Why was the skeleton using the Internet?

To bone up on his schoolwork.

What's the best part about sleeping with a Cubs fan?

They're used to disappointment.

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What do black birds pick?

CAAAAAAAH-tin...

Who is the richest person in the Bible?

The Pharao's daughter. She went to the bank of the Nile to pick up a little prophet.