What do farmers say when something is important to them?

It plays a big tractor.

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What did the crop say to the Farmer?

Why are you picking on me?

Why did the spotted pigs run away?

They thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put his name on the dotted swine.

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Why is it impossible to play UNO with Mexicans?

Because they keep stealing all the green cards.

What do you get if you play a country music song backwards?

You get your wife back. Your house back. Your truck back. Your dog back...